You're such a kid, Ned
by catuethecashew
Summary: The gang is in the 10th grade, but it seems that Loomer's bullying knows no end! Ned soon learns that Loomer continues his daily torture of him for a reason he never considered before... SLASH - implied Loomer x Ned; mainly Gordy x Ned - fluff, and M stuff later on. Maybe. Depends on how I feel.
1. Chapter 1

A/N

So this is another slash fic…surprise surprise…It'll be rated M for future chapters, possibly. So, warning. This is implied Loomer x Ned. But 'tis also Gordy x Ned. There aren't really any slash fics of them, so I'm pretty disappointed. I found two…but…uh…I rewrote them. Am I allowed to post rewrites? Should I ask the original fanfics' authors' permission first?

Oh, and let's say that either Ned and Moze went out and it didn't work or they never dated in the first place...god, I'm so lazy.

I don't own Ned's Declassified – it's owned by Scott Fellows and Nickelodeon. But I am the principal of Zachary Taylor High School – ha ha! I'm clever. *gets shot*

* * *

It was just another perfect day for Zachary Taylor High School's bully, Billy Loomer – Coconut Head was stuffed in a locker, Suzie looked hot (as always), and the 'rents were out of town. Billy smiled – freedom! Of course, it wasn't like they ever cared what he did anyway; they were a bit too busy to notice or discipline him. Whatever.

Anyway, the day was perfect! That annoying little shit Bigby wasn't even here to ruin it – oh. Ah, fuck it.

There, down the main hallway, was Ned Bigby, laughing with his two dorky friends, Jennifer Mosely and Simon Cook. They were having a great ol' time – just to piss Loomer off. Just great.

"Did you see the look on Sweeney's face? Ha ha! Priceless!"

That annoying voice…Ah god, and his stupid cheeky grin, his fair skin and carelessly tousled brown hair, his slender body…Shit. The kid was the epitome of cute.

And it made Billy want to own him. Mess him up. Make him cry and plead for mercy.

It all made Billy hard.

And he hated it.

He wasn't fucking _gay_! He was straight! He'd done it with Missy and Suzie too many times to count! Besides, no other guy did it for him…whatever _it_ was…It was just that idiot Bigby.

Why, out of all the other dudes at school, did it have to be him?

_Great. Just great. This perfect-fucking day has been shattered. God, this is the worst._

But then the worst thing ever possible happened – Gordy, the school's janitor, sauntered down the hallway to Ned's group. He stood behind Ned and placed a hand on the kid's shoulder.

"Why the fuck is that old man _touching_ my toy?" Billy muttered through clenched teeth. He was fuming – his eyes flashing dangerously and he exuded an aura so venomous that his cronies, Jerry and Buzz, backed away.

_Well. We can't have him played with someone else, now, can we?_

In a split second, he decided to teach his toy a lesson. He was down the hall so quickly and quietly that Ned didn't notice him until he spoke.

"Well, well! Lookie what we have here…Two dorks…a bimbo…and an old perv who has a shota complex! What a lovely group!"

Moze reddened, while Cookie and Gordy looked dumbfounded. Ned immediately twisted around in anger.

"What the – ? Loomer?! What was that for?!" Ned yelled, stepping towards the bully.

"For being a bitch, Bigby." He smirked.

Loomer's cronies, just a-ways behind them, began laughing loudly.

Ned's face turned redder than Moze's. "I-I'm not a b-bitch!" He stammered incredulously. He seemed to regain his confidence, however, and took another step forward – now he was directly in the bully's face. "What did I ever do to you, Loomer?"

God, he was breathing the same fucking air as him…It made Loomer sick! He shoved the younger boy away from him onto the floor, and laughed cruelly as his friends rushed to him.

"You never learn, do you, Bigby? I just hate you. _That's it._"

The spiteful words made Ned shiver and he felt tears of frustration pricking at his eyes.

_Nothing I do is right according to Loomer! Nothing! Why?_

Gordy noticed the boy's emotional change and bent down to pick him up off the cold floor. He slung an arm around his shoulders. They were shaking. Badly.

Just as Loomer was turning to walk away, a deep voice muttered, "Well, at least we aren't the ones pretending to be something we're not."

The bully slowly turned around to look into Gordy's eyes. Lightning passed between them.

"What're you saying, old man? I ain't pretending to be nothing."

Gordy chuckled. "You sure aren't a convincing heterosexual, that's for sure."

Billy paled – _holy shit!_

"What? What the fuck, ass hole? I'm not gay! I'm with Suzie!"

"You're getting defensive," the man reprimanded. "…and she's just a cover-up. A 'beard'."

The cronies looked on in astonishment. They couldn't believe it – Loomer _gay_? The two teens began to feel uncomfortable and made a move to leave, but were stopped by a terrifying look from Loomer. It spoke of death if they ditched him, so they opted to say.

"I-I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, old man, but whatever. I'm gone."

He was so tempted to throw a punch – _so tempted._ It would be so easy and satisfying to just sink his fist into the janitor's face. But Loomer knew that fighting back would cause more trouble than was necessary. Not that he cared if he was expelled, but Gordy was right – he was being defensive, like he was insecure about his sexuality – _which he was._ Fighting back would only allow Gordy to win.

_Damn him. He'll get his one day._

"Come on, guys."

The two wide-eyed boys hesitantly followed behind their retreating leader, to disappear around the corner of the hall.

* * *

A/N

Wow – Loomer is such a jerk! But he's my jerk. He's just on his period, is all.

Gordy to the rescue! Wait. How did he get a job at this school anyway? Huh…I must've hired him…

Heheheheheheheheheheheheheh vwv

Please forgive me for OOCness; I haven't seen NDSSG in years. They are in high school anyway...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N

So…here's a new chapter. If anyone actually cares.

* * *

As Loomer stomped away, the group devoted their attention to Ned, who looked ready to start something.

He clenched his teeth. _God, I hate that guy!_

His mind replayed the scene over and over.

"Ned! Are you okay?" Moze asked.

"No! I'm not okay! Loomer pushed me around AGAIN! Argh, I can't take it anymore!" He wanted to pull his hair out.

"All through middle school he bullied us and he's still doing it – in high school!"

"Calm down, Ned!" They had seen this tantrum numbers of times throughout the year. Every once in a while, after Loomer said or did something, Ned would lose it. Moze and Cookie were really tired of these episodes. They could care less what Loomer said or did to them now. Really, it just made him look bad, if anything.

The outbursts worried Gordy to no end, though. Ned was generally a calm, rational kid but these outbursts had become commonplace recently. How long would it before the kid finally snapped?

"He's just a jerk, Neddy. Don't worry about it. Just ignore him." He tried.

The boy looked up at him with teary eyes.

"I've been trying, but it's just so hard!"

The boy burst into tears then, and Gordy pulled him into his chest, rubbing his back and softly hushing him.

The boy sobbed until the warning bell for first period rang – then he sniffled and tried to pull himself together.

"T-Thanks, Gordy. Sorry for freaking out."

Gordy smiled and ruffled the boy's hair.

"It's fine, Neddy. Hurry onto class now, kid."

The boy nodded eagerly and ran off in the opposite direction to his class. Moze and Cookie waved goodbye and left as well.

* * *

God, Ned was so cute.

Gordy couldn't even take it.

For several years he had restrained himself – after all, the boy had only been a middleschooler. But now he was in high school, and dare he say it, ripe for the picking.

The boy was sixteen – surely it wouldn't be wrong to just – No. Gordy stopped himself. He was a kid. A cute one albeit, but still a kid. Gordy had no right to make him his, no matter how much he ached to.

Of course he yearned for the boy – who wouldn't? He was small and adorable, like a brown puppy with large teal eyes. He just screamed to be loved and petted.

But Ned was more than just a cute animal. He was clever and wise beyond his years. Even though he was lazy, Gordy knew that Ned would soon have the whole world open for him. Ned would be going far, that was for sure. He had ambition. And drive.

Gordy was so lost in thought of Ned that he almost didn't notice Coconut Head burst from his locker, screaming like a banshee.

The kid fell onto the floor with a thud, but crawled to his feet just as quickly. Then, he sprinted away – probably to hide in the bathroom.

_Poor kid…_

Though, that was what also made Ned different from the other boys at school. He didn't back down now when Loomer goaded him on. He stood up for himself, even if he was afraid of repercussions.

Coconut Head and other victims of Loomer's abuse were constantly wide-eyed and afraid – of everyone and everything. Ned refused to submit, though.

Sometimes, Gordy thought that if Loomer tried hard enough, the kid might throw the first punch.

But then he was afraid he would be immediately crushed and would turn into another fearful victim.

He never wanted that to happen.

* * *

Ned thought about Loomer's taunts throughout the school day. When it finally came to the period before lunch, he couldn't take it anymore – he was utterly confused.

"Psst!" he tried for Moze's attention. She sat to the left of him.

"Moze! Hey!" He whisper-yelled.

She whipped around, irritated that her work was being interrupted.

"What, Ned?"

"Uh…well…I've been thinking about what Loomer said earlier…and, uh, what does it mean to have a 'shota complex'?"

At those two words, Moze reddened. She quickly shushed him before looking to see if anyone overheard them.

"Don't. Say. That. Aloud." She whispered through clenched teeth.

"But why not? Is it bad?"

Moze looked at Ned as if he were an idiot. _God, he's sheltered…_

"You're such a kid, Ned." She said flippantly.

"What?! I'm the same age as you! I'm not a kid!"

"Hush!" The teacher shouted. "You have an assignment to do!"

_Dammit…_

Ned sank into his seat with an embarrassed look on his face.

"Sorry…"

Moze smiled at him.

"Ned, it's fine." Her face quickly became serious, though. "I don't think you're old enough – no, mature enough – to understand what Loomer meant. Besides, if you ask me, he was just spewing shit because he was jealous."

Ned's eyes widened. "Jealous?"

"Yeah – of you and Gordy."

Ned bit back a laugh. "You've got to be kidding me. Why would he – ?"

"Don't you remember what Gordy said? That Loomer wasn't a 'convincing heterosexual'?"

Ned thought back to those words, but Moze was right. He still didn't understand.

His clueless face made her sigh in exasperation.

"Ned – the jerk likes you! He hates seeing Gordy be all 'buddy-buddy' with you!"

You know that feeling when your parents tell you after so many years that they only _pretended_ that Santa Claus existed? Yeah. That was what Ned felt.

He was confused to no end.

"N-No! He hates me! He said so!"

Moze shook her head. "He said that so you wouldn't suspect him."

"QUIET BIGBY AND MOSELY!"

The two students quickly whipped forward but met eyes one last time, indicating that the topic would be continued later on.

* * *

A/N

Heheheheheheheeheheheheh. Moze is a fujoshi, I think. :D


	3. Chapter 3

A/N

So, I'm very happy that I received reviews. Thank ya kindly vwv

On to the story…:3

* * *

The lunch bell finally rang, and Ned let out a sigh of relief. He couldn't be cooped up any longer, now that he was buzzing with a strange mixture of curiosity and excitement. He was practically bouncing in his seat at the lunch table; Moze had to hold him down.

"Will you calm down, Ned?!"

"Yeah, you're being a spazz." Cookie complained. All he wanted was a quiet lunch for once, really.

Moze considered continuing the news to Ned, but since Cookie was there, she decided not to. Better to not rile up two idiots at the same time…but they were _her_ idiots. Moze smiled.

Ned forced himself to calm down enough to where he only shook every other couple of seconds. Moze supposed it was good enough.

She understood the boy's feelings, though. He was confused, and probably terrified. After all, who wouldn't be scared if someone told you that the resident bully had a crush on you? Moze was pretty afraid when she found out Loomer felt _that way_ about her, but she thought now that it was merely a rumor or a ruse to get closer to Ned.

_Poor Ned…_

* * *

"What's going on, guys? Y'all are awfully quiet today."

Moze and Ned locked eyes and then looked to Cookie with apprehension.

"Oh. I get it." Cookie didn't miss the look between them. "You guys wanna have romantic alone time and ol' Simon is getting in the way, huh? Well. Fine then."

He then fake-cried, "I guess I'm just a third wheel, boohoo…"

It took everything Moze had to not choke on her sandwich. _Romantic __alone__ time? With Ned? Where in the heck did he get that from?_

But wait. As crazy as it was, if Cookie really did think that that was what was up, then it may just work…

"Yeah, Cookie. Sorry." She grabbed Ned's hand tenderly in hers and looked up at her bespectacled friend. "We just need to talk…"

Ned almost spewed his drink but received a warning glare from Moze.

Cookie grinned widely. "Oh, oh! Sounds like my boy is in trouble! Ha ha!" He laughed maniacally. "I'll leave you two alone, then. I thought you two were still an item!"

He then skipped away, it seemed, leaving Ned dumbfounded and Moze smugly satisfied.

_Damn, I'm good…_

"What-what was that?!" Ned spluttered, waving his arms wildly about.

"We need to finish _that_."

Ned's mouth formed an 'o' and he sat very still then, expectantly.

* * *

"Well?"

"As I said before, he likes you. Maybe not so much in a 'romantic' way, though."

Ned was confused. "Then how does he like me, then?"

Moze started to look very scared then. "I think he wants to own you, Ned."

"Own? Like 'shown up'? Like, "_Oh! I owned you!_"?"

Moze shook her head. "This isn't about _ownage_ or _pwnage_. I mean that he legitimately wants to own you. He wants you – in a terrifying way."

"Like his slave? What the-? That's insane! I-"

Moze held her up her hand to stop him. _This will only get worse…_

Ned let out a strangled sigh and ran his hands through his hair. "How do you know this, anyway?" He asked shakily.

"Haven't you seen the way he looks at you?"

"In disgust?"

"No, Ned! He lusts after you! His eyes burn holes into your back he stares at you so much! He has this small smirk on his face, like he's thinking of something devious, and he licks his lips like an animal licking their chops!"

To add to Ned's horror she added, "He's out to get you!"

"Wha-what do I do?"

Moze locked eyes with Ned. "Don't find yourself alone. Ever."

It took a while for Moze's words to sink in. "Don't be alone, Ned. Not ever. He may decide to pounce."

He was still so confused. "But why? I'm a boy!"

Moze huffed irritably at Ned's cliché question and rolled her eyes. "You're such a kid, Ned! At most, Loomer's bi – as I believe him when he said he's done it with Missy. It doesn't matter that you're a boy! And besides, have you looked in a mirror lately? You're effeminate and cute!"

Ned blushed furiously. "I'm not effeminate! I'm just slow at puberty, that's all!"

"Whatever, Ned. Just be very aware of your surroundings. I wouldn't be surprised if he jumped you during school." She then whispered sadly, "No one would probably be able to stop him, anyway."

Ned wanted to cry. All he wanted was to have a normal high school life, free of drama and bullying, but now he had to deal with this. A psycho wanted to…wanted to…what did Loomer want to do to him anyway? Kiss him?

Ned pulled at his hair again. He had no idea what Billy wanted with him. What do…guys…do…anyway?

He was far too embarrassed to ask.

"I am a kid, Moze." He finally said.

She just smiled at him, though, and ruffled his hair affectionately.

"You're my kid."

Ned laughed.

* * *

A/N

I'm actually pretty terrified of Loomer right now. Even if he is a bit of an idiot.

But Moze is reaaaaalllyyyy in tune with things…so perceptive…she can see the future o.o

Who will stop this monster from hurting poor little Ned? We'll see…

Sorry for lack of updating. I'm not very motivated to update that often. I have so many ideas but I'm just toooooo lazy DX


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